I can't remember that word in French that means something is happening to you again, or at least it feels like it, but...that is how I'm feeling. The third years are going to be graduating...except this time they won't just be moving to another part of Seikai. Some will, some will go to the university division, but most of them will be gone. They'll go on and have wonderful lives and do great things. Akaya-senpai will still be here, but it won't be the same.
I'm tired and I still haven't finished my homework. T-T
I had a wonderful weekend. I don't think I have ever felt more like a princess. (Me--clumsy, insignificant, forgettable me--a princess? I didn't think it was possible, but Senpai...Akaya-senpai...he really knows what I should wear.)
I only stepped on his feet a few times (and, er, on some of the other dancers more than that ^^;; )and my face still itches a little from the mask, but it was...beautiful. The more I'm around all of these extraordinary people I have met through tennis, the more I am aware that I am still very very ordinary...but, they still make time for me and try to include me. And that makes me feel just a little bit extraordinary, too. Even the moon can be bright without any light of her own, if she is reflecting the light of the sun.
I don't think I will ever forget this as long as I live.
I really like the zoo. The pandas are just beautiful. I...was sort of scared of the lizard house, though. I wonder why Yukimura-senpai looked so pale when we went in there?
We're going shopping for clothes for the masquerade. I'm glad senpai is going, because I don't know if I trust myself to pick out the right thing.
I'm so tired of summer homework. I'm not sure I am understanding and retaining any of it now. English especially is confusing me. I'm trying to read this book we were assigned, but I keep having to go to my dictionary. T-T
At least that horrible "test" I had to take last week came back normal.
I wish there was a way to un-experience something. T-T
[Unknown LJ tag]
I had to go to the doctor this afternoon, the one for...girl parts. I thought I was going to die. Thinking about it makes me want to die.
I had to put my feet in these...stirrup things. Lying on my back, almost all naked. Then...the doctor...put this horrible plastic thing in me...to keep me...open. And he..he...he reached INSIDE. There were other things, but...they were all bad and wrong and....Idon'twanttodothateveragain.
ooc: Yes, the cut is messed up on purpose. XD
There are a lot of birthdays around now. Oishi-senpai, Yamato-senpai....happy birthday!
You're both so old!
I can't believe I'm a first year in high school and I have been for a month. Ah...it just feels weird, though I'm very happy with not being a third year any more. I don't feel right being a senpai to anyone, I don't know that much or have any business trying to be a..a mentor person to anyone.
I...I can't even say Senpai's first name without 'senpai' on it, I get so embarrassed. I..I want to call him just that, but I feel so self conscious about it.
I do like Golden Week, I'm always ready for a little time off from school by now
to catch up on homework and try to work hard. But, after being at school and around everyone, it's a little lonely. I don't have any siblings, so there's no one at home but my parents, and we've stopped going on any family trips for Golden Week (because I usually have so much schoolwork and reading to do). And I'm still somewhere in between wondering just what Akaya-senpai and Fuji Yuuta-senpai were talking about, and wishing I didn't understand any of it. T-T
ooc: only last strike deleted, rest are just strikes.
Movie night...was loud. I didn't think it was possible to be so loud. But...Senpai...ah, Akaya-senpai (he made me promise to try to call him by name, but I can't completely, it's too embarrassing) was in a really good mood. He invited me over to see the babies.
Thank you for hosting such a nice party, Arai-senpai.
...at least I'm not alone?
This is still so embarrassing, I just want to go home to die....