Wandering Cherry

Ow ow. My feet hurt. I like most every part of my uniform for work, but the shoes...leave a lot to be desired. I know that most of us in our country are short, but wouldn't it be better just to accept that as one of the things we can't change? I don't know how some of the women walk. I see them on the trains in heels higher than mine, with pointy toes and no support for the arch. If my own feet didn't already hurt, I'd cry for these other women instead of just for me.

But, tomorrow will be a good day. /He's/ coming home. =D

( private )

I can't remember that word in French that means something is happening to you again, or at least it feels like it, but...that is how I'm feeling. The third years are going to be graduating...except this time they won't just be moving to another part of Seikai. Some will, some will go to the university division, but most of them will be gone. They'll go on and have wonderful lives and do great things. Akaya-senpai will still be here, but it won't be the same.

I'm tired and I still haven't finished my homework. T-T

I had a wonderful weekend. I don't think I have ever felt more like a princess. (Me--clumsy, insignificant, forgettable me--a princess? I didn't think it was possible, but Senpai...Akaya-senpai...he really knows what I should wear.)

I only stepped on his feet a few times (and, er, on some of the other dancers more than that ^^;; )and my face still itches a little from the mask, but it was...beautiful. The more I'm around all of these extraordinary people I have met through tennis, the more I am aware that I am still very very ordinary...but, they still make time for me and try to include me. And that makes me feel just a little bit extraordinary, too. Even the moon can be bright without any light of her own, if she is reflecting the light of the sun.

I don't think I will ever forget this as long as I live.

I really like the zoo. The pandas are just beautiful. I...was sort of scared of the lizard house, though. I wonder why Yukimura-senpai looked so pale when we went in there?

We're going shopping for clothes for the masquerade. I'm glad senpai is going, because I don't know if I trust myself to pick out the right thing.

I'm so tired of summer homework. I'm not sure I am understanding and retaining any of it now. English especially is confusing me. I'm trying to read this book we were assigned, but I keep having to go to my dictionary. T-T

At least that horrible "test" I had to take last week came back normal.

I wish there was a way to un-experience something. T-T

[Unknown LJ tag]

I had to go to the doctor this afternoon, the one for...girl parts. I thought I was going to die. Thinking about it makes me want to die.

I had to put my feet in these...stirrup things. Lying on my back, almost all naked. Then...the doctor...put this horrible plastic thing in me...to keep me...open. And he..he...he reached INSIDE. There were other things, but...they were all bad and wrong and....Idon'twanttodothateveragain.


ooc: Yes, the cut is messed up on purpose. XD

....I'm cheering for Serena Williams, but I am proudest of Sugiyama Ai. She has the most consecutive appearances in a major by a man or a woman at 57.

( private )

There are a lot of birthdays around now. Oishi-senpai, Yamato-senpai....happy birthday! You're both so old!

I can't believe I'm a first year in high school and I have been for a month. Ah...it just feels weird, though I'm very happy with not being a third year any more. I don't feel right being a senpai to anyone, I don't know that much or have any business trying to be a..a mentor person to anyone. I...I can't even say Senpai's first name without 'senpai' on it, I get so embarrassed. I..I want to call him just that, but I feel so self conscious about it.

I do like Golden Week, I'm always ready for a little time off from school by now to catch up on homework and try to work hard. But, after being at school and around everyone, it's a little lonely. I don't have any siblings, so there's no one at home but my parents, and we've stopped going on any family trips for Golden Week (because I usually have so much schoolwork and reading to do).

And I'm still somewhere in between wondering just what Akaya-senpai and Fuji Yuuta-senpai were talking about, and wishing I didn't understand any of it. T-T

ooc: only last strike deleted, rest are just strikes.

Movie night...was loud. I didn't think it was possible to be so loud. But...Senpai...ah, Akaya-senpai (he made me promise to try to call him by name, but I can't completely, it's too embarrassing) was in a really good mood. He invited me over to see the babies.

Thank you for hosting such a nice party, Arai-senpai.

...at least I'm not alone? This is still so embarrassing, I just want to go home to die....

IT WASN'T FOR ME!!!!

I can walk around again without having my ankle bound up. (I do have a little slidey-on brace thing for it, but it doesn't fit as tight as wrapping it up. It's just for support.) I don't want to trip on it again. I still have to wait a couple of weeks before I can play some tennis.

( private )

I cannot believe a game could be so fun. And so portable!

Senpai gave me a Nintendo DS, and it's pink. It's so little and cute and...and I can play Pokemon on it!

I think I spent most of the weekend playing it. (And I can play it with Senpai, too!)

It's...pink. And it fits right in my hands.

First....happy birthday to Tezuka-senpai. I'mverysorryifIruinedyourpartypleasedon'tkillme.

Fuji-senpai put together a surprise party for Tezuka-senpai. I...ah...was overjoyed just to be invited; I don't know Tezuka-senpai that well, but I admire him so much and every time he's said a nice thing to me is deeply special to me. I did my best to shop for a present that was right for someone as...impressive as Tezuka-senpai...a-and I think I did all right. He thanked me in a very kind tone of voice.

That was the good part.

Then...ah...I don't really know what happened, or who or what I stepped on or how I managed it, but...when we were all about to leave the party I...sortoffellandIthoughtIbrokemyankleithurtsobad. T_T

Senpai was so nice to me, if I hadn't been crying already I would have cried. He carried me back to school, and Sanada-senpai wrapped my ankle for me. Ah, it's going to be tough getting around for a while, and I feel very, very foolish and embarrassed for doing such a thing to myself.

Senpai told me not to call him Senpai, what do I do???

[strike = deleted]

Senpai, happy birthday!

I...got a back to school gift from my parents over the weekend.



It's...so pretty and green. Almost an aqua color.

Now I just have to learn how to use it....

I'm about to start my second term...as a third year.

Somehow, I never quite thought all this time would come, or that I would have met and known so many people. Too often I can barely get the right words out of my mouth, or I say the wrong thing, or I don't understand well enough.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...thank you. To everyone. It's hard to give up when there are such strong examples all around me.

It's still unfair to have that time right when it's time to go back to school, though. Owww.....

Only a few more days to go to the beach! Then, ah, school is starting again!

I, ah, like wearing my swimsuit. Senpai got it to fit just right.